I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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