You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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