I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
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