I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Randomize
