this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
