the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
