at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
