Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Randomize
