He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Randomize
