i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Randomize
