How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
