the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
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