The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
