So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
My liver is preforming stress tests.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
