how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
