y did u give ur computer a hand job?
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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