i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
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