you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
