Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
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