We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
