none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
