Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
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