they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Randomize
