It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
He shit in the fireplace
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
