Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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