I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
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