a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Randomize
