Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
