oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Randomize