That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
