So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
