he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
