cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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