Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
