He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
I can't turn off my feet"
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
