who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Randomize
