PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
