yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize
