Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
