my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
ttyl tear gas
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Randomize
