It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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