Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
drinking out of a sandbucket again
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
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