In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
