Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
