If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
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