the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Porn is love you can see.
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
Randomize
