It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Randomize
