I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Randomize