i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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