Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
