What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
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