How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
