Can i not drive my cunt home
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
Randomize
