ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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