Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Randomize
