Bisexual people are plain selfish.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
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