im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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