Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
