I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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