I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Randomize