I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Randomize