You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
