I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Randomize
