My liver just broke up with me...
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
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