PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
