i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
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