i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize
