Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
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