Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
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