So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
