just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
