Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
