fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
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