i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
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